I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
A+ Viking dick
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
