I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
