hotel room ftw
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
