the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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