The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize