im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
