I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
