I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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