Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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