I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
