Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy

(1-713): View more from Texas

well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"

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(616): View more from Michigan

You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.

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(716): View more from New York

She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.

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(937): View more from Ohio

My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots

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(410): View more from Maryland

I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know

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(647): View more from Ontario

The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house

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