We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Operation Purity has been aborted
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
True strength comes from lack of pants
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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