i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize