Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
