still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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