girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
