I hate your face
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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