So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
