Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
