Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
