idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
