Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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