He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
