apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
