Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
