im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
