Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
