Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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