Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize