Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
