I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
