my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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