u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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