how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
