they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize