you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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