Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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