Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
