Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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