"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
