I wanna passion pit in your ass
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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