i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
