She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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