are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
