I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
