why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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