Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
