So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
