this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
