She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
