Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize