She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
