Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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