he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
