what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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