so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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